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On the Proper Understanding of Sex

One of the issues I have with our “age” (if you will) is the objectification of everything. At this point we have some such as Britney Spears actually seeking to become a sex object, which in reality lowers the value of our persons, it makes us less. Remember, sexuality is a gift from God. Pope John Paul II has a lesson for us: sex is better than you think it is.

I’ve been reading quite a bit about the family, our “domestic church”, lately and sex is a key part of the discussion. Americans often view sex as selfish pleasure, which lessens the reality of the situation. True sex is complete self-giving of one to another through love. This ‘giving’ is so real that it has the power of creating a new person. This truth also underlines the requirements of real sexuality. If we are truly giving ourselves to the other person, it must be within the context of permanent marriage; otherwise this giving isn’t true, it is temporary and withholds the right to choose another later. Only through marriage can we as individuals make the commitment necessary to develop an honest giving of one to another.

This also gets to the problem of contraception. If you withhold some of your being, then you do not completely give yourself to the other. This indicates a possible lack of trust in the other person or a desire to take pleasure rather than give love (turning the other into a sexual object for your personal pleasure).

Proper sexuality within the context of marriage is sacred. It is powerful enough to take two people and form one flesh. Our bodies are designed to enjoy sex, which makes our sexuality a temptation as well as a blessing. In America it is a constant battle to keep sex within its proper context. Lustfully viewing another person removes the respect that person deserves and, if you are married, takes away from the perfect commitment you make to your spouse. Masturbation again objectifies sex into an experience designed solely for selfish desires. These take away from truly human sexuality, which can be seen as a sacred act. From The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality by the Pontifical Council for the Family.

Christian marriage is a sacrament whereby sexuality is integrated into a path to holiness, through a bond reinforced by the indissoluble unity of the sacrament: "The gift of the sacrament is at the same time a vocation and commandment for the Christian spouses, that they may remain faithful to each other forever, beyond every trial and difficulty, in generous obedience to the holy will of the Lord: “ ‘What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder’ ”.

God bless,
Jay