August 28, 2003
The Invasion
A few weeks ago, I was delighted to have my good friend come stay with me, who currently has six children ranging from the ages of 1 to 16. I have three wonderful children 3 and under. We decided to one day take a walk through my neighborhood with all the kids. As we pass one of my neighbors, who I have always enjoyed talking to and who has always loved to see my kids, she cries out, “Oh my goodness, we’re being invaded!” We laughed as I proceeded to tell her this was my friend visiting with her six children. She screams out, “Six children, six children!? Honey, don’t you know what to do about that?” I was in utter shock, completely embarrassed and enraged. My friend politely says, “Yes, I do.” But my neighbor persists, “I mean you know they have things nowadays to stop that.” My mind was reeling. I thought to myself, “Stop that!? Here this lady has before her eyes six beautiful children – all well-dressed, well-mannered and she refers to them as “that”, how utterly sad. My friend like myself is speechless so the lady continues her tirade, “Well, God Bless You! And I mean it because you really need it!” My friend politely thanks her and we move on. I immediately apologize and then for the first time I understood how the Nazis were able to kill so many Jews before mankind stopped them. I understood how easily it is for people to embrace the self-centered contraceptive mindset because it doesn’t affect them immediately and it enables them to have more things without having to deal with “that”. I looked at each of my friend’s children and thought which one of these “that’s” would my neighbor like me to get rid of by killing them because you know we now have “things” these days that makes this possible and effortless (contraceptives, operations, and abortions). When we start referring to humans as objects and not living souls, we give permission to the devil to wreak havoc in our lives and society at large. Thus, like Jay stated in his article titled Dead People Don’t Work, we reap what we sow. May God have mercy on us.
Raising a family whether big or small is no small feat in today’s society, and we need much prayer and support. Mother Teresa wisely once said, “A family that prays together, stays together.” My friend and I talked about things we could have said to my neighbor but didn’t think of at the time. We acknowledged our lives of “replay”, how situations come and go, how we are not always graced with the appropriate things to say at the right moments, how our human weaknesses allow us to be humble, and then instead of living our life in “replay” all the time, we opt to invade our society with prayer. We have faith in God’s grace and mercy to change our nation from a culture of death to a culture of life on which this great nation of ours was founded. It is not too late for we rest in the hope that good will conquer evil in the end, so we choose to invade other people's lives with good, with the gift of other human souls striving to follow Christ. For further food for thought, I highly recommend reading Life Giving Love by Kimberly Hahn who goes into depth on the reason why we as Catholics and Christians should be open to life.
Maria
Posted by Maria at August 28, 2003 1:41 PM | TrackBack |
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Maria,
Our neighbor is a unique situation. We do not choose our neighbors, nor do they choose us. Therefore, there is a sense of fate involved with our "neighbor" and our love for them.
Christ often refers to the neighbor, for the neighbor is often the hardest to love and to evangelize to because they are always there. I would, and I know you will, look for opportunities to address the topic of contraception with your neighbor. Explain why contraception goes against natural law as well as the ramification of the use of contraception on the maritial relationship.
I just want all of our readers to know that God puts opportunities in our path every day to proclaim the Gospel of Truth, to hold the candle of Truth out to the world.
Your children will be faced with tremendous moral and spiritual challenges the way our society is currently going, therefore all the more reason to speak out, so I agree that instead of living a life of "replay" we have to pray for others, but then we have to prepare for the next opportunity. I don't believe we can continue on in silence. Just a thought, don't get me wrong prayer is the most powerful tool...period. Yet I can't help but believe that now is the time for courageous evangelization as well. Pope John Paul II has called for it in this "Springtime of Evangelization." Your post was great...keep up the good work.
Joe
Posted by: Joe at August 28, 2003 10:21 PMI keep hearing these stories of people who have deputized themselves into the procreation police. The ones crying for tolerance and about judgementalism will not stand for large families, which now a days is more than three children.
Posted by: Jeff Miller at August 29, 2003 7:51 PMI strongly encourage you to give your neighbors (and family and friends) Sam and Bethany Torode's book "Open Embrace." It's a excellent book about a young Protestant couple who are opened to new life.
Posted by: Amanda at August 31, 2003 7:03 PMThere is an excellent music CD by Marie Bellet titled "What I wanted to say" which is exactly about that kind of situation. As a mom of 6 born over a 14 year span, I have had more than my share of nasty comments - especially because if the line of work I am in.
My first response has always been to look at the harasser with pity, no matter what I end up saying. They really don't know the half of it!
I would like to suggest a nice site for your colection. It is a combination of Bible humor and more serious learning, sometines very fascinating.
Posted by: Julian Rubin at September 3, 2003 6:24 AMI love this article because I can definitely relate. The comments were worse when I had 5, 6, and 7 young ones. By the time I had 8, my 14 yr old daughter looked old enough to have a baby of her own. The rude comments lessoned. Since she often holds the baby, people assume the baby is hers. I guess we blend in better with society now... with teenage pregnancy and all...
Here are a few comments that stand out in my mind:
1. "Are you Catholic?" (yes) "I didn't know they still believed that!"
2. This one was said when I was pregnant. "How did you and your husband have time to make another baby!"
3. "You need to take a baseball bat to bed with you to hit your husband with"
4. This is the runner up for the most common remark. "Are you done yet?"
5. The number one comment. "Don't you know what causes that!"
I know a couple of these are comical. I really don't care personally, but all these comments were said with my children around.... kind of personal and embarrassing. I don't take time to explain Catholic doctrine or my reasons to these people, I usually politely smile and then gather up my kids and get away as soon as possible. No telling what they will say next.
I'm as proud as a peacock when I'm out with my children. I don't owe any explanations. My children's character speaks for itself.
I do tell my children to always be on their best behavior in public. This is the best way to be a positive influence regarding big families. Actions speak louder than words.
Have a Blessed day,
Mary
Posted by: Mary at May 21, 2008 3:40 AM
Here are some responses I've come up with:
Are you done yet? There will be no more children... until my wife says she's ready for another.
Don't you know what causes that? why do you ask? do you need some expert advice from me or something?
You're so brave Why do you call me brave? if I had 4 porsches you wouldn't call me brave... you'd probably want to come see them and would wish that your wife would let you buy more porsches.
You're crazy Naw... just stunningly good looking and irresistably charming.
Though the ones I have the most trouble with are the ones from Catholics go to mass and pray the rosary and novenas regularly:
1. go get your tubes tied and then all you have to do is go to confession after.
2. too bad there's no way to stop children from coming into this horrible world
3. I hope you don't have any more children
Posted by: Burnt Marshwiggle at May 21, 2008 11:00 PMI forgot about "You're Brave!" I've heard that one several times. I don't really consider myself brave, but if they say so...haha. An interesting one is, "Bless you". Sometimes it's said genuinely which is nice, sometimes it's said with a sad look meaning "I feel sorry for you". If they only knew...
I know some Catholics who have had "the big V", as they call it, tubes tied, take the pill, etc... At some point, I think they truly regret these decisions. I know so many Catholic families that ARE obedient to the Church teachings regarding their marriage. Some have more children than me, some have 1 or 2, and some have to adopt. Not all families that welcome the possibility of children will have huge families. The idea here is to trust the Lord to decide what kind of family you will have...small, medium, large, or extra large! When you leave this open to the Lord, you can never have regrets.
Burnt, the responses are great. 1, 2, and 3, are getting downright ugly! The worst experience I had regarding this subject happened when I was in line waiting for a prescription (probably prenatals haha). I had 4 younger ones with me and of course I was expecting. A lady behind me started saying things like "you've got to be kidding, 4 kids!" "She must be stupid" "Doesn't she care about overpopulation" "Oh my God, she's pregnant again!" "As if she needs another one." The abuse went on and on. I never said a thing and never turned around. After a while, the pharmacist heard the comments and was just about to say something to the lady when I mouthed the words "Please don't say anything". He just shook his head. I didn't want to make things worse. She could have gotten violent.
I asked the manager to have someone walk us to our car. When we got in the car, my 8 yr old son asked me why that lady was so mean to us. I told him that we should pray for her because she was sick with hatred. I actually had no intent to pray for her. I heard my son in the back, "In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit ...God please bless the mean lady and help her to be nice...Amen.
If only we could all be so quick to forgive and love our enemies as children do.
Peace, Mary
Posted by: Mary at May 22, 2008 3:19 AM
