Hi. I'm Krista, wife of Joe. This is my first entry and I'm not as graceful with my words or with this computer as all of the others, so please forgive me.
I am a beginner in a lot of ways, most pertinent to this site is my newfound Catholic faith. One week before my wedding (two weeks ago) I entered into this mysterious and wonderful unity of faith. I'm still a baby Catholic, but not at all new to God's great love. I, like Jay, was raised Baptist. Learning the Catholic faith is learning the secret of life to me. I'm so excited at every tiny step I take toward knowing the fullness of the Church. Sometimes I feel like my own parent watching her child grow and learn. I am still surprised by the words coming out of my soul and my mouth, so different than the ones I spoke even one year ago. I want to share one HUGE truth I've come to realize.
When I was an early teenager, my doctor put me on the birth control pill for medicinal reasons. I continued taking the pill well into my twenties and eventually I willingly used it for birth control, rather than practicing self control. No doctor ever recommended that I take a break. None of my closest friends or family (pre-conversion) ever questioned that I pop the pill. I took the pill almost constantly for fifteen years, never even considering what I was saying to God by doing so.
At the age of 27, as I opened my heart and my mind to the teachings of the Catholic church, and even before I decided to convert, I stopped taking the pill. Honestly, my first reason was probably out of concern for my own health. Foolishly, it wasn't until then that I learned all the risks of the birth control pill. (I'm not going to get into that, the info is plentiful and easy to come by.) One year after making that decision, I am thankful to God that I finally see the light! I am open to life and I trust God with every single aspect of my life. He did create this whole universe, surely he can manage my family!
When someone I meet learns that I've recently converted to Catholicism and that I'm newly married, they almost always comment first on the baby issue. They discouragingly ask," How many children are you going to have?" or they remark," So, you're not going to use birth control?" It is so offensive to me because I consider it an attack of the heart of the church... it's future.
Why does today's society so freely accept the realm of infertility treatment and in that same token so quickly dismiss a couples openess to life? Patience is a virtue and what an important one it is. Trusting in God and His divine will takes such patience on our part, especially in today's "grab and go" society. It seems illogical to wait years for God to give us a baby when Doctor's can give us one right now. The stories of Sarah and Abraham (in the Old Testament) and Zechariah and Elizabeth (in the New Testament) come to mind. Protestants and Catholics alike consider the Bible as "the book which contains the truth of God's revelation." (Catechism of the Catholic Church) Why would God make reference to couples barren of children in both testaments if it weren't worthy of learning a lesson from? Trusting oneself wholly to God is not always an easy task. It is our nature to want to be in control. It takes a strong and faithful servant to say," Here I am, Lord. Make me what you will". Just as it takes great faith and patience to wait for God to bless us with a child, it takes the same to allow Him to bless us with as many children as He wills for our family and for His kingdom. After all, He knows what He is doing, He created this great universe.
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!
(even if there are 20 of us!)
It's funny, but until the 1930's no Christian Church disagreed; all felt birth control was a sin. Yet now, most look at you as if you've lost your mind if you don't use it.
On another point, every Christian agrees we should obey God by giving tithes. If we obey Him in such a small area (money), why would we not obey Him in a larger area (children)? Is it so tough to believe that science is His to control?
Great article, Krista!
Jay
Congratulations Krista!
Have you read Kathryn Jean Lopez's article "How Birth Control Changed America — For The Worse."
The essay can be found here:
http://www.petersnet.net/browse/4111.htm
The really tragic thing is that the birth control pill was invented by a cradle catholic who was (I think) subverted by the population movement.
i am so very much in favor of birth control. human intervention is the natural order of things. overpopulation is a very serious problem for the environment and all of humanity. birth control is neccessary.
Gypsy Rose,
Overpopulation is a myth. Have you ever really tried to do the math? At this point in time, you could fit every person on the earth, four to a house, 1 acre to each house, into Texas and Arizona. Does that sound like overpopulation?
Typically, city dwellers seem to buy into the overpopulation hype, because they "see it all around them." You should visit South Dakota, Kansas, or most of Canada. These places are virtually empty and provide visual evidence of the lie that overpopulation has become.
In the next 10 years in America (grand central station for birth control), we're going to be facing an unusual problem: lack of people. Most estimates have underpopulation as the single biggest problem over the next decade, particularly in the business world where things don't get done without employees.
I challenge you to really look into this topic. Read things from both sides of the argument. I think you'll walk away scratching your head and trying to find out how so many people buy into overpopulation - it one of the biggest lies perpetrated on the American citizen in the last century.
Jay
In response to the comment made by Gypsy Rose I would like to say two things.
First, within the natural order it is not man's intervention that takes priority, it is God's. He acted first - creating all material things out of nothing. So within the sphere of natural law, God is the first mover or doer. He designed the human body to share in his creative power, he made it a part of our very essence. For humans to intervene within nature is common yet it always must be in harmony with the creative action of the primary mover, who is God. Birth Control works against God's natural design therefore it is not natural.
Second, overpopulation is not a problem because we lack the land or resource to support all the human beings in the world but rather because man, acting unnatural, is driving by selfishness and greed. Did you know that both here in the U.S. and throughout Europe farmers are paid not to cultivate crop-producing land in order to maintain a certain level of demand. This land could be cultivated to provide third-world countries with necessary food that is so greatly need. Also, in countries where certain cities are substantially overpopulated, take Calcutta, India for example, it isn't that the surrounding countryside is not workable land, but rather the Indian government isn't providing the people of the country with the resources to work the land, and governments, like are own, will only provide them with funding if the promote our contraceptive platform in their country. So, what is the real issue here? An overabundance of creative power on the part of God and people attempting to bring life to the world or the hardness of men's hearts breeding selfishness, dependency, and greed?
As for me and my house, we shall serve the Lord (Joshua 24:15), and be open to His plan for each and every human life that he desires to send into this world. This is His world and He wants us to trust in Him. Being in favor of birth control displays a distrust in God's plan for us.
Joe
Gypsy Rose, oh dear child of God, I pray for your soul! Do you have children of your own? Have you ever carried precious life inside of you? Have you ever looked into the sweet face of a child, eyes so open, hands so tiny, heart so big and body so helpless?
Your words break my heart and surely they sting the heart of our Lord. You are playing with fire and I beg you to pray for God's guidance.
If you are not a God fearing woman then I understand your ignorance a little more although that certainly isn't an excuse for your error.
"Human intervention is the natural order of things" you write. By "things"- do you mean life? If so then don't forget that God creates life, not man. God doesn't need to be controlled.
Furthermore, take any great leader of all time or any person who has ever made an impression for the good in your own life and ask "What if his/her parents had practiced birth control?"
There are no accidents in life, every"thing" happens for a reason. That certainly includes children.
There is so much more I want to write, but for now may God be with you.
Hi again everyone,
My own view is that contraception, although not inherently evil in every case, can be dangerous and is easily abused (ie, basically the Catholic view on alcohol or gambling).
I have one specific point to quibble though ...
"... take any great leader of all time or any person who has ever made an impression for the good in your own life and ask "What if his/her parents had practiced birth control?"..."
But what if his/her father had become a priest, or his/her mother had become a nun, and taken vows of celibacy? What if a child was conceived by rape? What if his/her parents had practised NFP, or had spent the night s/he would have been conceived in praying rather than making love? The argument that "you are willing this person out of existence" proves too much. If it refutes the morality of artificial birth control, then it also refutes the morality of celibacy, natural birth control or laws against rape.
You can argue plausibly that if and once semen and egg come in close proximity, they should be always given every chance humanly possible to form a new life. That's a respectable argument. But it's a big step to go further and say that therefore you should always take every opportunity to bring semen and egg into close proximity. It comes dangerously close to the secularist caricature of the Catholic doctrine as "Every sperm is sacred", which we agree is a parody. (Otherwise, why are we here blogging instead of "go[ing] forth and multiply[ing]"?!).
Russell,
First and foremost welcome back! Jay and I have both missed our conversations with you. Now to the issue at hand.
I understand what you are trying to say but I think there is a distinct difference. By practicing NFP (Nature Family Planning) or deciding to become a priest or nun you are in no way attempting to use the sacred act of intercourse as a means of obtaining pleasure. Therefore neither are, in reality, an act of lust or selfishness. Rape is another story, though much different from contraception, for the woman does not desire to partake in the sensual act, it is the desire of only the rapist. Yet it cannot be blamed on the child if the woman were to become pregnant, for the sin of the act is one-sided for it is the sin of the rapist. The woman who is raped in no way, shape, or form is attempting to use the act as a means of pleasure, rather she detests it and is brutually force to do it. Yet again, to abort the child is to commit an even greater sin for it is murder. Yet ultimately I do not see how this is related to the argument here for we are discussing contraception not abortion.
The couple who uses contraception ultimately is only intending to receive personal gratification from act without sharing in the creative nature of the act that God intended, and thus the nature ramification of the act - a child.
So I'll ask you this...why do Christian couples(who are married...an important point) need to use contraception?
In Christ,
Joe
Yes, welcome back Russell. Your comments are always welcome and respected here! ... but that doesn't mean I agree with them all :)
As is evident by reading this article, this topic is very personal to me. My changed view on contraception alone has brought so many blessings into my spiritual relationship with God. I understand, more clearly now than ever before, the true sacrifice of total self to God.
In response to Russell's senario - What if the prospective parent had become a priest or a nun?:
Becoming a priest or a nun is joining into the holy orders, a sacrament in the Catholic Church, and following God's will. If it were God's will for a child to be born of that man/woman, God would not chose a life of Holy Order. That would fall under God's decision= God's will.
A husband and wife who use contraception are making their own decision. They are telling God "We trust you in MOST things". (need I say more?)
God made the conjucal act of marriage for the purpose of procreation and thank God He made this act pleasurable for us, too.
Let's consider a married couple who is open to life and (after prayerful contemplation and agreement that it is in the best interest of their family) decides to practice Natural Family Planning. The couple should come to this decision in full knowledge of the Church's definition of Grave Necessity. In abstaining from the conjugal act during the time conception is most likely then that couple refrains from the blessed act and all of its pleasures. This takes extreme patience, self control and sacrifice. All the things that great love are made of. And when the man and wife partake in their marital rights, they are open to life should God will it at that time.
Furthermore, might I add that in my research of contraception and NFP I've found that NFP is most effective in planning a family according to God's will because God is never left out. Not only is NFP effective in planning (if used correctly) but it educates both spouses on the female reproductive system (which is affected by diet, exercise, stress....). If it is not wasted, that education will reap all kinds of benefits including harmony in the home.
This used to be such a difficult concept for me to grasp. It was finally clear when I asked myself "Do I trust God to manage my life?...ALL aspects of it?" There is no trust in God in contraception. The only logical way to plan a family is found in natural family planning, where the couple makes a sacrifice in order to postpone the growth of their family, all the while remaining open to life. To me this is pure love for God's will.
Krista
I take the Pill because I suffer from extremely irregular periods; I can go months without ever having one. Sorry for the "too much information" but it contributes to my point. There is absolutely no way I can practice NFP successfully. My Catholic doctor has said this is the best remedy, especially since I am using it for this reason(I am not married - yet). How are those who suffer from this supposed to deal with this issue?
Janey, first of all, you are not married and therefore I assume you are not using the pill for contraception but for medicinal reasons. You have no use for NFP as it should be used by a husband and wife to plan their family.
I'm not saying your doctor is not an excellent Catholic but just because he/she claims to be Catholic, this doesn't make your doctor an authority on the Catholic Church. If you are looking for acceptance, then I would recommend 1) pray for God's guidance and healing
2)read the Catechism and see what the Church has to say on this matter and
3)Get some spiritual guidance from your pastor or another trusted official in the Church.
I don't know if you read my original article or not, but I stated that in my teens I was prescribed the pill for medicinal purposes as well. I took it for a long time not knowing the long term effects. As a woman, I urge you to educate yourself on the risks of exposure to such horomones, the damage can be found long after you quit taking the pill.
Janey, do you mind me asking how old you are? I ask because when I first started the pill I was 14. I took it for more than 10 years before I did the research. I wish every woman fully considered every chemical she puts into her body. I think more of us would choose another route. For example, I don't think you are a hopeless case and I bet you have options. If you are concerned about this, get a second, third, fourth opinion(however many it takes). I highly recommend reading a book by Marilyn Shannon entitled," Fertility, Cycles & Nutrition". You may not be able to find it on the shelves but can order it. I know Barnes and Noble will order it. This book is highly informative and gives a ton of useful advice for a variety of female issues.
I am not at all against the medical community. But I think before you trust everything a doctor has to say, you owe it to yourself to be as educated as possible. This takes work, but it's well worth the trouble. You are going to have your body for the rest of your life, don't trust a doctor alone to tell you how to take care of it.
God Bless you Janey,
Krista
Krista,
Thank you for your response. I meant to say that I wouldn't be able to use NFP successfully once my fiance and I were married (sorry).
I am 26 and have been taking bc since I was 19. My doctor suggested it when I was 14 but my stepmother refused saying it would just give me an excuse to have sex (I barely knew what sex was back then!!).
I've finally added another article exploring the Biblical argument against contraception.
God bless,
Jay
A woman's decision to take or not take the pill is sometimes very complex and not just a matter of the heart (as it clearly seems is the case here with Janey). I think a lot of women take the pill because they think it is their only option. I apologize to the men on this site for the "girl talk" that follows but I think this gives important insight into the pill debate. Some decisions are easier said than done, but aren't we glad that Jesus didn't let that stop him?
Janey. Thank you for checking back and for shedding a little more light into your situation. I see now where the topic of contraception concerns you since you are getting married. (Congratulations by the way! A Christ centered marriage is such a grand journey!)
The reason I asked your age is because (as I suspected) many doctor's prescribe the pill to teenage girls as treatment of irregular periods and then the girl becomes woman but remains on the pill. Very often the problem is corrected and the pill is no longer necessary. You've been on the pill for 7 years now and I wonder if you've tried to stop for a few months to see if the problem is corrected.
In my own experience, no doctor ever recommended that I try to fix the problem naturally first before taking the pill. I would bet your doctor did not offer that either. Unfortunately, it's just not their way. A doctor is trained in medicine, he/she sees a problem and prescribes a medication to fix it. That's what they do. But that doesn't mean that what he prescribes is the only way. There are almost always options.
I offer my personal experience as an example. At age 27, as I began my conversion to Catholicism, I learned the dangers of the pill and decided to stop taking it. I prayed before making this decision but was still afraid that the problems I'd had as a teenager would arise again once I stopped taking the pill. I'd been given the diagnosis of dysmenorrhea, or irregular periods. I was told that the dysmenorrhea was the blame for my heavy periods that came sometimes 2 weeks apart and lasted up to 7 days, with horrible cramps that were so painful they kept me out of school sometimes. When I decided to stop taking the pill it was a trial run in my mind at the time. I was going to give it 6 months.
I didn't just stop taking the pill though. I learned more about my body. I started taking vitamins and changed my diet, especially the week before my cycle. And above all, I prayed for God's help.
Janey, that was over one year ago and my cycle has been fine! (Thank God!) I've not experienced any of the problems that I did as a teenager. And I think God has blessed me for my decision. I was married in August and being open to life made it possible for me to concieve when GOD wanted me to. After 4 months of marriage, we concieved and now I don't have to worry about the whole filthy mess for at least 7 more months! (hopefully longer since I'm planning to breastfeed). When I finally trusted in God's hand, he took care of me (what a concept!) and he's given me the greatest reward for that trust!
I don't know if I'd been able to fix the problem without the pill, but I wish I'd tried. In my heart, I truly think I could have overcome the dysmennorrhea natuarally. As my friend Ashley tells me, just think about what women did 100 years ago before these medical advances were available.
I will never again take the pill since learning that almost every pill contains abortifaceints and I don't ever want to say to God again that I trust Him in most things. He created this world, He heals cancer, He brings new life and He can mend our soul.... He can handle a period!
hello
i would just like to say that i do not put God in a box ,and that yes god is in control of us if we allow him to be . But i do believe that god wouldnt have us walk in front of a bus to prove that he could stop it ?
I and my wife have 4 wonderful children and my wife lost a baby 2 years ago and almost hemoraged to death . the doctors told her that if she was to get pregnant again she could very well die ,now she is a mother of 4 hmmmmmmm birth control ?
not to mention the finaincial burden that some people have personaly i believe that God would have us use our brain , witch he also created!!!!11
ok if you had a heart condition and the doctor said take this medicine so you can live and you tell him no ill trust in god
heres a lil story i herd once there was great flood and the water wad rising fast a man was standing on rubel while praying for God to save him . Menwhile a padde boat , a motor boat ,and a helicopter all try to rescue him HE TELLS THEM HES WAITING ON GOD AND THAT GOD WILL SAVE HIM well the man drownds . When he gets to heaven he asks God ,y didnt You hear Me, and God then says what did you wanti sent 2 boats and a chopper
well my wife is on birth control for 2 reasons right now one was that she was bleeding for months at a time to the point of enimia
and low blood pressure and i really dont want her to get pregnent and loose the mother of my 4 children that we have a responcibilty to now
well thats my 2 cents oh and by the way you went from a baptist to being a catholic y?
you really need to read the book God says to call no man father but him ,and no one can forgive but god thru jesus christs blood,STUDY TO SHO THYSELF APROVED A WORKMAN NEEDITH NOT TO BE ASHAMED RIGHTLY DIVIDING THE WORD OF TRUTH study baptisim and what its purpose is. do yoursel a favor read a book called the trail of blood find a true church
sorry if i came across to blunt but i came out of a catholic church i know how rong they are in doctrine and practice look at a church study timothy .. THEY ARE THE NICOLAITINES THAT THE BIBLE WAS SPEAKING OF !!!!
FORGIVE MY POOR SPELLING AND GRAMMER IM ABOUT 4 HOURS PAST MY BEDTIME
WELL GOD BLESS ,SAM :)
Fundamental differences here Sam and Samuel (not sure if this is the same person or not). First, how is not using contraception comparable to stepping in front of a bus. Stepping in front of bus would end one's life, this would be suicide, clearly not the will of God. Not using contraception is respecting the very essence of the human person, the creative attribute. Clearly in accord with God's will and his natural design of the human person.
I'm sorry to hear about your wife's condition. But I will point out two things:
(1) Our Lord told us that there is no greater love than to lay one's life down for another. To exemplify the direct tie this can have in reference to the mother and her unborn child the Church is in the process of canonizing a woman who carried her child, knowing that she had a critical medical condition. She gave birth to the child and died shortly after, a sorrowful event, but a beautiful example of faith and true love. She laid down her life for her child. I am not saying that women with known medical problems should actively try to have children, but what I am saying is that if one is open to life and a pregnancy should occur then as followers of Christ we have to protect and cherish that child.
(2) So, if a woman does have a medical condition that would pose a threat to her life if she were to become pregnant, what alternative does the couple have? Number one - NFP (Natural Family Planning), the method of becoming in tune with the woman's fertilization cycle. Doing this makes use of the woman's infertile periods and yet in no way completely removes the procreative aspect of the act. It is also a sign of self-mastery. Number two - Abstinence, it is better to abstain from sexual relations "for a season", in order to allow your wife time to heal or seek medical attention than to just disregard God's law in reference to the procreative aspect of the conjugal act. Understand that love is not manifested simply by the physical act, rather it entails the complete giving of oneself to the other. Using artifical contraception prevents this complete giving because it removes any and all possibility of the giving of one's own essence. Ultimately, a contraceptive sexual relationship is an act of selfishness, for the spouses, rather than seeking to share themselves in their totality, seek their own sexual gratification.
In reference to your comments about my wife's need to educate herself about the Catholic Church I'll leave it at this - there is enough information provided on this blog alone to counter every objection you have made above, so I'm not going to restate it all here. Take some time to read through the various articles. I think you need to begin by asking yourself what the foundation of your faith is. I would recommend reading all the articles on Sola Scriptura. I'm sorry you left the Catholic Church. I simply cannot understand why one would give up the opportunity to receive the Eucharist alone, not to mention the other sacraments that Protestantism lacks (basically everything but Baptism and Martrimony).
Krista and I will pray for you and your family, especially your wife, that Christ will heal her of her medical condition. I know it must be difficult. May God bless you and your family.
In Christ,
Joe
I would like to give another side of contraception for medicinal purposes. Oral contraceptives are often given to women with endometriosis. With this disease, scar tissue builds up on the outside of the uterus and other organs. During a woman's period, she also bleeds outside of the organs. This can cause great pain, infertility, and various other complications. Many women - some who are not sexually active - take artificial contraceptives to hopefully slow the process of their insides turning "mush."
Thank you,
Jenny
Jenny,
The use of oral contraceptives to treat endometriosis isn't effective enough to warrant use over much better alternatives out now. Just like use in hormonal regulation during menstrual cycles, contraceptives don't work as well as other means since they aren't even designed for all these treatments. Often times, women seem to consider contraceptives as cure-alls for all of their female problems but more and more studies are showing the negative side-effects, especially later in life, of the use of contraceptive pills.
Here's a quote from http://www.endometriosistreatment.com:
"Since I had not been pleased with birth control pill (BCP) therapy or danazol in a few of my early patients..."(I know it's short and I provide no context but I'm tired. Check out the site if you want.) Another factor involved with use of contraceptives is that it supports an industry that is hurting families and whenever possible avoid their use. As far as I can tell, they don't need to be used at all. Consult a Catholic doctor and support Natural Family Planning!!
As far as I understand, the Roman Catholic Church does not object, in principle, to the use of oral contraceptives for medicinal reasons. For all practical purposes, however, every particular case where the Pill is typically prescribed (endometriosis, for example) there seems to be evidence that it does not cure the ailment at all.
An ob/gyn speaking at a Natural Family Planning conference in 2002 in Seattle denounced the typical practice of using the Pill for irregular bleeding, endometriosis, and other problems the Pill is typically used for. With the high rate of breakthrough ovulation and prevalence of side effects such as breakthrough bleeding, the Pill is often not the most effective treatment of these conditions. The doctor mentioned that she treated endometriosis with a combination of laser therapy and estrone.
Interestingly enough, when this doctor stopped prescribing the Pill, her staff all started looking for work thinking she would lose her patients but she only lost three patients out of four thousand and gained many more through referrals from the local Catholic organizations. Her patients also stopped having troubles with irregular bleeds.
In addition, irregular and painful menses are normal for teenage girls, and will usually correct themselves given time. Intervention with the Pill in teenage girls is not recommended as the reproductive system is immature and delicate, and the Pill can be particularly damaging to future fertility.
Modern methods of natural family planning are highly effective and can be used at all times during a woman's life, including breast-feeding, menopause, and irregular cycles. Irregular cycles are not an impediment to using the Billings Ovulation Method, and the amount of abstinence required to avoid pregnancy is minimal (rarely more than 2 continuous weeks).